Kindergarten Will Have to Wait

My 5 ½ year old is repeating Pre-K this year. We decided to wait, because he was not ready to move forward. I am not talking about academically. If it were only academic needs I would have pushed to send him to Kindergarten. We can do tutoring and school work modification to handle academic shortfall. We cannot force a child to mature any faster. This can be an agonizing decision, because as a parent you feel like you are holding your child back. This is not the first time we have done this. My oldest repeated pre-k, she is now in 8th grade and I am very happy with the decision. She is mature in her grade. We have problems related to her ADHD, but her behavior has generally been fine. This experience has made it easier this time around, but starting the school year seeing his friends have moved on and he is staying behind does pull at the heart strings.

The upside is his teacher has already said she expects him to be a leader. He has the same teacher so he already knows the routine and is helping his younger classmates learn it. This year is all about establishing independence and mastering following a routine, plus making sure he is academically sound to move forward. Repeating Pre-K or Kindergarten is not the end of the world. Many parents will tell you that extra year to mature was good for their child. I want to be clear this decision is not the right one for every kid, but I firmly believe it is the right one for my kid.

I was not surprised when the teacher made the recommendation. I had worked closely with the teacher all year, discussing his progress in different programs. He had never been in daycare before and certain things were foreign to him. Additionally, his speech was still lagging and he had a really hard time writing. He started speech in April of 2016, but the other issues I did not know about. I knew he didn’t like writing at home, but I thought he just didn’t want to sit. Not wanting to sit also became an issue. Over the year he participated in several programs to get him ready for Kindergarten and they didn’t work as expected. When the teacher made the recommendation to repeat Pre-k, I discussed it with my husband and the defining point was he is not mature enough.  Although it does not seem like it, kindergarten encourages a lot of independence. I had to honestly assess whether or not my child could handle it, and at the time he could not. As a parent with older kids, I have learned maturity is a big deal. It sets the stage for social interactions, following directions and even understanding some lessons being taught. If your child’s brain development is not ready to perform at the required level, the school year can be hell.

To get him ready to excel this year, over this summer we have done two different occupational therapies for two different reasons. One is just for handwriting and the other is to help him with attention and impulse control. He has improved greatly, and will continue his therapy throughout the school year. I am confident he will be ready for Kindergarten when the time comes. When you add the additional support with the additional maturity, hopefully Kindergarten year will be enjoyable for him.

If you are faced with this decision with your child consider the reason for the delay. Listen to the teacher and consult with a mental health professional or pediatrician. Talking it out with a teacher friend will help too. Do what you need to do, so you are comfortable with the decision being made. In the long run, it can give your child much needed to room to grow at their own pace. It also means you get one more year with your child at home. The closer I get to my oldest leaving the nest, the more grateful I am for that extra year.

Pray About It!

I have learned two truths about mental health as a mom. 1. Good mental health is essential to being the best parent you can be, and 2. Most of us feel guilty when we make sure that happens. I spend a lot of time talking about the mental health of my kids, but the parenting process has been emotionally taxing for me as a parent. If I were to make a recommendation to a mom planning a pregnancy, I would tell them while you are getting the physical check-up make a stop by a psychologist too. Mothering under the best of conditions is a hard job. When you add on depression or other mental health disorders, what is hard becomes monumental.

I am telling you this from experience. I struggled with depression long before I had a child. I never sought help for it, even at its worst. I believed the mantra pray about it. You know what the answer to my prayers was, “Get help”. To say the least when I became pregnant with my daughter I was not where I needed to be emotionally. When she was born it got worse. I did go to a therapist. I got the diagnosis, but the treatment was just therapy only and that really did not work for me. By the time I was pregnant with my son it was bad. My OB looked at me and immediately put me on medication. We have had ups and downs for many reasons, but I can say parenting kids with their own mental health concerns put mine on the back burner. This is not the right thing, but it is true. We need to do better.

Writing this, admitting this has been a struggle in my life, is hard. If you think greater society looks at mental illness badly, then black people treat it like it is the plague. Depression is a sign of weakness for us. It means you don’t trust God. You are not a strong Black woman. You are choosing to be unhappy. The truth is depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. It is not only emotionally painful, but for many of us it causes physical pain. We often live with joint pain, headaches, and fatigue. Depressed people are also masterful at hiding when they are depressed. An inherent part of the disease is a feeling that no one cares anyway, so why talk about it? I am not saying a chatty person talking to you about being depressed isn’t. They may very well be, but many depressed people hold it in. Which is when depression is dangerous. Those negative thoughts get worse over time.

You have probably read other articles about depression so you know depression is not a fleeting experience. It stays with you. Being sad about something bad happening in your life for a few weeks is not depression. Sadness is an important and good emotion to feel and express. Sadness is a component of being depressed, but it isn’t everything. My suggestion is if you think you are depressed go get an assessment from a psychologist. Not only can they confirm whether or not you are depressed, but help you develop good coping mechanisms to relieve your depression and help prevent future episodes. Any information I am giving here is all from personal experience, not a medical explanation. I know the right terms, because I have learned about the disease. It is important that you seek professional help if you are having a hard time coping emotionally.

Right about now, you would expect some suggestions about how to deal with depression and parent. My only suggestion is seek professional help. You can google all kinds of articles and suggestions on how to deal with depression. I have, and I have found a wonderful natural way to deal with it. I am not sharing. I think the most important thing I did was talk to a therapist. I didn’t do it for long. I don’t like interacting with people in general, and I am picky about who I talk to. I had a therapist I loved, but she left and I didn’t replace her. I think any person dealing with depression should have a some therapy sessions, if only to find out a better way to deal with what is triggering your depression. Remember your ADHD kid is watching you. How you deal with your mental heath sets the stage for how they will deal with theirs as Adults.

At 41 years old I have learned I am not always strong. I am sometimes weak and vulnerable and sometimes I am unstoppable. It depends on the day. I am a human being and all human beings have a weakness. All of us feel emotions. The healthiest thing I have ever done for myself is reject the concept that I have to always be strong, and bear the world on my shoulders. My shoulders are not that broad. I carry my family and I will hold up some friends, but I need to be held up too. I wake up everyday with the idea I am going to do the best I can and if it doesn’t go right, tomorrow is a new day.

I want you know I am a woman of faith. I believe in God and the power of prayer. I believe God sends help in many ways and that includes psychologist and psychiatrist. Many of us think it is ridiculous to just sit and pray for healing of a physical disorder without seeking medical assistance, the same is true of a mental health disorder. You can pray for healing, but also pray for guidance to the right medical professional that God wants to use as a conduit to bless you.

Black ADHD Mom

There’s  A Pill For That

This Blog is a little bit of a vent. I hate the fact that when faced with a problem the go to solution for the medical community is adding a pill. Yes, I know that is what they do, but that is not the only solution. I do not consider my stance as a contradiction to my behavior with regard to medicating my children. I do believe ADHD is a true medical condition and it is appropriately treated with medications. That being said, I also believe there are effective non-medicinal alternatives that can work for many people. Where I have a problem is when we start medicating the side effects of the medication they are already taking.

Let me explain where my frustration begins. I took my son to the doctor for a standard medication appointment. During the appointment the doctor inquired about irritability in the afternoon. I indicated, he is very irritable when the medication wears off. The doctor then said she would prescribe X medication which could help with this irritability. We were dealing with a lot of issues and although I was familiar with the medication I am very hesitant to add to my son’s already lengthy medication needs. He is asthmatic, ADHD, and other concerns. We are dealing with a lot. A little shocked an unable to clearly articulate my concerns I accepted the prescription and it was filled. As I thought about it for a few days I decided not to start it. The reason for this is my mommy senses (like Spidey senses) says this is a bad idea, and I have learned over the years to trust those mommy senses more than I trust just about anything else, when it comes to my kids.

Let me be clear I do not think this particular doctor is trying to drug my child into submission. I honestly think she is trying to be helpful. The issues is, we have different philosophies when it comes to how to address these issues. My perspective is dealing with the irritability comes with the territory when my child is taking the stimulant medication. Every medication has risk and side effects. I am looking at this from the perspective of what is the cost/benefit ratio for my kid if I add this new medicine. Benefit, I potentially reduce the side effects of the medication he is already taking. Costs, I risk additional (possibly worse) side effects, I risk potential adverse drug interactions because he takes several medications, I add a medication when he is already resistant to taking medicine, and lastly I am not comfortable with him taking it. I am sure a physician could give me very good explanations for the first three costs I listed, but the last and most important can only be dismissed by me. That one benefit is not enough for me to overlook my uneasiness about the new medication.

I guess the question remains if the side effect is enough to be notable; what am I going to do about it? The answer is I am going to do the same thing I have done in the last five years. I am going to make sure he eats a good breakfast and snack at home, has a break before starting homework, encourage him to go outside an walk, run, or ride his bike, and I remind him that even if he feels cruddy he is in control and responsible for his behavior. ADHD does not absolve a child from responsibility. If anything, it puts a greater responsibility for them to consciously exert self-control whenever possible.

 

How do you deal with medication side effects with your kids?

 

Black ADHD Mom

What the Black Mom of Different kids needs, but will not ask for.

In case you are unaware there is this phenomenon called the “Strong Black Woman”. I am sure many of our non-black counter parts may not have a full understanding of what that means. Let me break it down for you. It is not the loud, ratchet/ghetto, overbearing personality the media makes us out to be. Being a strong Black woman is so much more subtle than that. It is bearing everyone’s pain around you without letting on it is killing you inside. It is making sure every I is dotted and every t is crossed. It is making sure your kids, your spouse and maybe parents or siblings are cared for long before you think of yourself. It is bearing the disdain and disrespect of the media and other racial groups while still attempting to maintain whatever dignity you can muster. Being a strong Black woman means suppressing your pain, anger, and needs so your family can prosper. As a result a chip develops for many of us. We develop an edge, not because we do not want to be softer, but because we cannot afford to be. We are literally the foundation of our families. We often make sure the bills are paid, the house is clean, the kids are cared for, and everything else in the house is handled. In addition many of us work whether married or single. It also means we are in many ways resilient and unyielding. We are often times hardworking and driven to do the best we can for our families without regard to our personal needs. This is what being a strong black woman is in my opinion and honestly it is killing many of us. This cultural norm leads to a serious problem, we often will refuse to ask for assistance when needed. Many times we feel obligated to bear the brunt of the stress of caring for our kids alone, because you don’t talk about these things. Many of us feel guilty for crying, or taking a break. I want to give some insight on how you can help the mom that will not ask for help.

Give her a call. If you know a mom who is in the trenches taking care of a child/children with learning differences or other disabilities, odds are she will not have time to call you. Reach out to her. See if she can get away for coffee and if not just talk on the phone. Let her vent, without judgment. There are many times all moms have many non-politically correct thoughts and they just need to get them out. If you are not the type of person who can do this and keep the conversation to yourself, please just disregard this and keep the family in your prayers. The last thing a family needs is to have to deal with rumors and gossip about them.

Offer to provide respite care. Offer to watch the kids so her and hubby can go out to dinner or if she is a single mom so mom can catch a movie. If you do not feel comfortable being left alone show up and let her take a bath in peace while you entertain the kids. Yes, this sounds very much like what you would do for a new mother. Think about it this way, in some ways the constant attention of the new born stage does not completely go away with a special needs kid.

Keep inviting mom out. If she only accepts one out of ten times you have given her some time to just have fun. Understand that finding care for kids with any type of special need is difficult and stressful. Don’t assume she is saying no because she does not want to go. She may not be able to go.

Reassure her. This one has a high risk of coming off sappy or insincere so be careful. That being said, too often moms of kids with any type of special need spend way too much time criticizing themselves. The best way to reassure her is to note changes in the child. If you see an ADHD child sitting for longer periods of time, or in better control, or recover from a fit faster mention how well they seem to be doing. Do not say “I don’t how you do it? It would drive me crazy!” This gives more of a feeling like they are raising the spawn of the devil not a child with ADHD or some other problem. Granted, I have been guilty of that error with other issues so do not worry if you have done it, just don’t do it again.

Lastly, unless you personally have a child you are raising or have raised with ADHD or some other problem PLEASE refrain from giving unsolicited advice. Frankly, even if you have parented an ADHD kid or a child with some other problem just don’t. I do realize the irony of me writing a Blog and saying that. The difference is no one has to click on the Blog the info is out there if you want it, but in person to be polite someone will listen to your advice. That being said feel free to commensurate and exchange ideas with fellow parents, you may learn something new. If you do not have kids at all please, please, please do not pull the “my cousins, husbands, grandfather had a kid with…..” Unless you raised that kid you have not a clue. Yes, I am guilty of providing unsolicited advice, but I try not to.

Even the most stoic and resilient among us need a break and support. Do not hesitate to reach out and lend a hand. If you don’t know what they may need, ask. If they say nothing then ask at a later date. If you are unsure about how to interact with the child so you can assist with childcare educate yourself. Most parents can give you good resources to learn and will greatly appreciate your effort. No matter how much or little you can do make sure they know you are there to help, even if they are not asking for it. If for whatever reason you cannot do any of this, prayers and good thoughts are always appreciated. If you are a parent of an ADHD child or a child with other challenges what types of things would help you?

MY KID AND SPORTS

 

I have said before that I think physical activity helps a lot with self-control. It is not a magic pill, but it does help. It also helps those kids that do not sleep well to sleep better. However, there are kids that resist strongly. My middle child is one of those. Ironically, he needs it the most. He had been doing wrestling off and on, but nothing consistent. He ran track a few years ago, but resisted going back. He rides his bike, but that is dependent upon the weather. Last year I decided I would not take no for an answer and I signed him for up for indoor track. He resisted practices, but it was no longer an option. I knew he needed to do this. He continued in track through the summer season.   He lost every race this year, but he kept going to meets without resistance. When I talked to him, I focused on wanting to see him run his personal best. I talked to him about working hard, improving and running his own race. This year track gave me an avenue to talk about not comparing to others, but working to improve himself. He ran the 100, 400, and did the shot put. Although he didn’t win one race, I think he learned a lot about working hard.

With the little recreational wrestling he has done before I knew he really liked wresting. We had not signed him up for a club team, because it was hard to find one that he could join at his age. In June he did a wrestling camp. His coach specifically asked if he was going to join the team and said he had an affinity for the sport. The coach also took one look at my youngest, who is 4, and asked us to sign him up too. So 2 to 3 days a week both boys go to wrestling practice. Both of my sons love wrestling. They look forward to wrestling, but the middle child has also developed a love for track. He asked last week to skip wrestling practice and go back to track, because he had not been to track practice in a while.  His track competition season was over so I had not pushed going to practice to allow him to get involved in wrestling. His wrestling coach is already talking about developing him to the point of winning college scholarship. He starts 6th grade in the fall. I am not relying on that, but it was great to hear someone talk about the talent they see in him. It was even better to watch the smile on his face as others complimented his ability to pick-up the sport.

My middle child is not social. He will be the first to tell you one of the reasons he does not like participating in different things is he has to deal with people. If I let him stay home he would, but what good does that do for him? He cannot develop social skills in the house, and he needs a positive outlet for his energy. I have heard parents say, “I cannot get my kid to do sports activities”. I had to approach it from the stand point that doing these activities is as crucial to my child’s development as going to school. How many of us would allow our child to refuse to go to school? We would not. Consistent physical activity for humans is essential for our mental and physical health. We must put as much importance on our kids eating right, moving often, and sleeping well as we do homework and learning reading, writing and math. I realize physical activity does not need to come through organized sports, but organized sports can provide a safe place for different kids to hone much needed social skills as well as get a good workout.

I encourage parents to find an activity and don’t take no for an answer. If your child is old enough explain the importance and let them help you choose the activity. Lay out the rules up front. One of my rules is once I pay you finish the season. If your child is artistic consider dance. I don’t care if they have two left feet, dance will eventually change that to a right and a left and they will develop great posture and core strength. This does not have to be ballet, it can be interpretive dance, African dance, clogging, tap, lyrical, jazz…. you get the point. Research different things with them if they are old enough, but don’t let participation be an option. If they love riding bikes, look for a cycling team. There are kid teams for most sports. Keep trying different things until you land on something they want to do. Keep talking to them. Unlike my son, my daughter landed on gymnastics early. She loves it and will be competing in the fall. This is a great physical outlet for her, and it also works on her ability to set personal goals. Even with her love of the sport she sets goals, but does not always put in the work to achieve them. I spend a lot of time with her talking about goals and setting a realistic plan to achieve them.

I know there parents saying, “you just don’t understand, this will be a fight everyday.” Yes, I do understand, because I fought that fight. I am still fighting it with my son on days his schedule is messed up. I have dealt with intense meltdowns, being told he refuses to go, and just an overall sense of stress related to getting there. All of this may tell you he should not continue to run, but when he actually gets to practice he participates fully and loves it. He just hates going. This will not work for every kid, but it is worth a try.

I will end with this, at his last track meet I asked my son if he wanted to continue to run the 400m dash. He seriously struggled in the race. I asked if he would rather run the 200m dash. He thought for a second and asked if I thought he could do it. I said yes, if he works hard he can definitely improve his time. He said he wants to continue to run the 400m dash. This made me happy for a two reasons. First he is, by default, agreeing to run next season, and second he is taking on a challenge to improve on something that is difficult for him. This is the resilience I want him to learn by playing sports. Also, I have watched him build positive social connections with the kids on his track team. All things that mean far more than actually winning a race.

You Want To Use Alternative Treatments, but You Don’t Know Where to Start

There are a lot of parents who are rightfully hesitant about using prescription medications on their young child. I understand that, because I don’t particularly like it myself. Many of these parents look to more holistic approaches. This can range from using supplements to give your child a break from the meds, which we do, or using them as a method of completely managing your child’s concerns. This also includes specific diets, using essential oils, meditation and many other ideas.

As I have said before we do use medication, but we also use supplements. If you do an internet search about ADHD you will find many, many suggestions about which supplements are effective to help treat the disorder. If you search long enough a few consistently pop up, they are Omega 3, B vitamins, Magnesium and Zinc. If you do a search for sleep problems, which are common with kids with ADHD, you find melatonin which has saved many an ADHD parent some sleepless nights. There are more, but these are the ones that come up the most. It would seem to be a simple process give the kids the supplement and no need for meds, but as you have learned by following this blog nothing when dealing with mental health and learning differences is simple. If you are going to choose this road there are a few things to consider.

  1. This can be expensive.
  2. It takes time to work so you must be patient.
  3. You must be prepared to be painfully consistent with the supplements.

If those three things do not deter you then the first thing you should do is talk to your child’s treating physician regarding the use of supplements. It is safer if the doctor is on board. If you are just choosing a Psychiatrist try to find one that supports supplementation. They do exist. The doctor can give some guidance, but you are also going to need to do research on your own. I have books on how to naturally treat disease, I have done many internet searches, and I have read books specifically for managing ADHD including one for treating ADHD without medication.

I want to take a moment to talk about safety. Many people look at a supplement and assume because it is “natural” it cannot hurt. Well a rattlesnake is natural, but its bite will kill you. (Extreme I know, but you get the point) As you start taking the time to learn about this you will find, some of these supplements do not play well together or with others ie prescription meds. This is why it is important all treating physicians are aware of everything you are giving your child. You don’t want to deal with an adverse reaction unnecessarily. Additionally, like any other substance there is a risk of allergy.

What if the doctor is not on board with helping with the supplementation? There are many parents that do this without a doctor’s assistance successfully, but do not hide that you are giving them to your child from the physician. If the physician is truly against it, you may want to find a more supportive physician.

It is also important you know what a supplement is supposed to do. It will help you decide if that is a supplement you want to try.  I give my kids magnesium. It has a calming effect on them. That in conjunction with some physical activity can make my day easier. It is not enough to get them through a stressful day of school, but it is enough to get through homework or a Saturday cleaning the house. This saves me from having to give my kids a booster dose of the stimulant medication or stimulants on the weekend.

Let’s say you have done your research. The doctor is on board. You know what supplements you want to try and you have set a weekend start date. The day arrives you proudly wake up that morning to give your child this wonderful alternative to the medication and your kid gags on the supplement, refuses to take it, or has an all-out meltdown. So here is where the rubber meets the road per se and this is also where this gets expensive. I intentionally failed to mention before this many supplements are disgusting. I would suggest before you give your child anything taste it, smell it, and look at it first. If it makes you gag odds are it will make your kid gag.  Also, if your child has issues with sensory processing, texture and taste may be an issue which may further hinder your goals. You may go through a lot of trial and error and a lot of wasted supplement just to get to something they will take consistently, without world war three erupting to make it happen. Then you have wait and see if it works. If it doesn’t work you start over.

If the thought of giving your child a supplement still unsettles you look into making smoothies or juicing to treat ADHD as well. I have a few smoothie and juicing books and many have recipes to help with ADHD. They include fruits, vegetables, and seeds rich in the previously mentioned nutrients. That does not work for us, because my kids do not like smoothies or fresh juice, but I did try it.

I have seen information about parents having some success with a gluten free diet for their ADHD kid. We cannot do that, because many of the gluten free products are nut based and my middle child has a peanut/treenut allergy. However, if it is an option for you it may be worth looking into.

In addition to everything else aroma therapy is an effective and relatively safe way to help with ADHD. There are many oils that help with sleep and even concentration. Lavender oil in a warm bath can do wonders to help relax a tense child. I have also put it in an oil burner to scent the room before bed.

The last and best natural treatment for ADHD is…………EXERCISE EXERCISE EXERCISE. I have eluded to it before, but physical activity is the single most effective natural treatment of ADHD I have ever seen. When my kids come home from track or gymnastics you would think they took a second dose of their ADHD medication. They are calm and easier to deal with. When they are not going to practice they can take bike rides, and walks and maybe even jumping jacks and push-ups in the house if they cannot get out. Physical activity along with a balanced healthy diet will make a difference.

There are so many methods I have not tried and I have not listed here. I hope this can give you a jumping off point for you to learn about supplements and other alternative treatments that may work in your home.

 

Black ADHD Mom

Why Isn’t Anything Working?

I want to share a story with you. My son’s 4th grade year was hell on wheels. It was so bad the sound of the phone ringing made my heart race and if I saw the number of the school pop up my heart sank. I would answer the phone and instead of hello I wanted to say “what’s wrong”. My son lived under the table and remained in a state of I hate the world mode. We were on the brink of my son getting put out of this school. It took a lot of commitment on my part to keep him in school and to get him on the right track. We worked hard and by the end of the year he was doing better. Then we hit 5th grade and it was like I had a different child. I kept waiting for the phone to ring with a problem and it didn’t. No, the year has not been perfect. We have had some stumbles, but nothing like previous years. In early February I received a call from the guidance counselor. She tells me my son walked to the back of the class while working on a lesson and the teacher called her to get him. The guidance counselor pulled him from class to the library. She said she was allowing him to sit for a minute and she would try to talk to him, but she just wanted me to know what was going on. The counselor called again maybe 10 minutes later and indicated my son was working on his work with no problem. The counselor said she talked to my son and asked what was wrong. He indicated he became overwhelmed and needed to take a break from the work, but was ready to start working again. This is a huge success for him. He used the coping skills he was taught. We have spent the last 5 years teaching him if he gets overwhelmed he must go to the designated place in the class to calm down; he needs to let the teacher or another responsible adult know the problem if asked, and recover as fast as possible so he can get back on track with his day. He did all of this and was able to return to his class within a reasonable time with the designated assignment completed.

All of the work, setbacks, bad days, temper tantrums, feelings of helplessness, advocating, and even blood sweat and tears culminated into this one incident which showed me I am on the right track. I know we will still have bad days, but now we have far more good than bad. We have far more success stories than disappointments.

I guess the million dollar question is “What got us to this point?” I don’t think it is one thing. I think every kid requires a different formula. This kid’s formula seems to be prayer+ supportive parents + therapy+ the right meds+ supportive school + maturity + time = progress. My daughter’s is different from her brother’s. I will talk about her progress next time.

It is so easy to get discouraged. In the beginning the bad days far outweigh the good. Many days you are doing a lot of running. Whether it is back and forth to school, different therapists, or doctors you are constantly running. With all this running your mindset in the beginning is this will help, but month one and two go by and there is little improvement. Then year one and two go by and you see new problems crop up to address. It feels like you are playing a constant game of whack-a-mole. It is not fun. It is exhausting and many days discouraging. One day you look up and everything has slowed down. You are no longer running 5 days a week to various therapist, schools, and doctors but only one or two. The calls from the school are rare if at all and your evenings, are far less eventful. Then it occurs to you all the running and hard work are working. I want to point out I said “are working” not “have worked”. It is important to remember this is not a once it is better you can stop interventions situation. It is not only your responsibility to get your child on the right track, but to help keep him or her there. Eventually, you hope to get them to a point where any assistance they receive is minimal and they are able to lead generally normal healthy lives. Think about driving a car on the highway. Once you merge into the lane you wish to stay in you don’t straighten the wheel and let go. The whole time you are driving you make minor corrections to keep the car in its lane. The same is true when dealing with learning differences and disabilities you have to help your child stay in their lane. There may come a time when more drastic changes need to be made, but if you have a good team helping you those are not so scary to deal with. This is a process of assessing and re-assessing. We all have our days where we feel like we cannot handle one more setback. If you are in the midst of this process with me, know the work we are putting in for our kids is not in vain. We are giving them the tools to be successful adults.

 

Black ADHD Mom

 

PS: I want to add I realize that my kids are overall healthy kids. They are of normal intelligence. They are verbal, and capable of tending to their day to day needs on an age appropriate level. Not all parents are able to say that. That being said, every child will have successes. Celebrate them. Each child makes progress in their own way.