Growing Kids Means Teaching Adulting

20141227_142906I started writing this Blog with the idea that my experience could help other people. I didn’t realize it was what I needed to chronical my personal experiences for myself. Throughout my life people have suggested journaling. I have tried and I have never been consistent. Blogging is different. I am a natural “no it all” so sharing my thoughts with other people always motivates me. The wonderful side effect of this is when I look back on my old Blogs I see how far we have come. When you read my Blogs you see what I wrote, and maybe you can infer some things, but the entire story is not there. When I read my Blogs, I know all the feelings that swirled around the incidents that I am accounting. Reading old Blogs is one of the most therapeutic things I can do, if only to see all this work really is working. My kids are doing better. This is particularly helpful at times like this, when we have already had two homework meltdowns since Friday.

We have just finished week 1 of school, and it was amazingly uneventful. We were even on time everyday. (That is a big deal around here.) I have taken a different approach with my older kids this year. I really want to make sure they master organizing themselves. To achieve this goal we sat down this morning for our first group calendaring session. What is that? It means we sat down and went through the online school assignment site and pulled out all assignments due for the next week. We discussed what was completed already and what the status of everything else is right now. Then they were directed to put it in outlook or on their phones with reminders.( I made sure this was done) I wrote down what was told to me about the status of all assignments and when they left emailed the necessary teachers to verify the work they said was turned in, was actually turned in. I hope to make this process a weekly habit. My older kids are now in 8th and 7th grade. It is important they start taking responsibility for their work, and master scheduling themselves. My mindset is shifting from just teaching self-regulation to teaching them how to Adult. This is step 2, organization. Step 1 was self-care. They now washing their own clothes, prepare there own lunches and breakfast, and are responsible for making sure they have their medication. They are only 5 and 6 years away from me dropping them off at a college campus. It is important to me that they know the basics of taking care of themselves.

Part of me feels like I should have done this when my oldest hit 6th grade, but I was not in the mindset to do it myself. I just got myself back on track with keeping 3 calendars and making sure I write everything down. Step 1 for me was getting myself mentally organized. I used the entire summer to do that. Making sure I had the necessary supplies and reminders to get where I needed to be in a timely manner. We missed a few steps here and there, but overall it worked. Once I got myself back on track, I was able to sit down and devise a plan of action for my kids. First and foremost I am flexible, being too rigid will guarantee everything I plan goes to hell. Additionally, for this to be successful, it is heavily dependent on me being consistent and insisting we create this habit. In the long run it will relieve stress in our household and make sure we take some the responsibility off of me. In the short term it is one more thing to plan.

What are you doing to teach your kids how to Adult?

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