VALIDATION NOT NEEDED BUT HELPFUL

I have struggled over the last week to find something to write about and one of my really good friends called me last night to say keep doing what you are doing. She conveys the following story:

There was a ten year old boy who has a diagnosis of ADHD, he is going to fifth grade. He does not know letter sounds, which means he could not read. The teacher from the previous year realized he could not read, and told him if he is not a behavior problem he will move to the next grade. The child is being brought to a tutor to assist him academically, by a church member. The parents have not shown-up for any tutoring sessions for this child. The only treatment they are aware the child is receiving is daily cod liver oil.

I am not saying the parents of this child are not involved, but from the state of the child that is what it appears. There are so many reasons why this child may be in the state he is in, but it does boil down to someone missing the boat.

This is a snap shot into what things could be like for my son if I did not do what I do. I am not a perfect parent. I miss things. I forget things. We don’t do work every day. I don’t live a perfectly organized life. What we do is try to do better. We try to master necessary life skills, and I bring people on board to help me do the things I need to do for my children. This snap shot is motivation to keep working. Many times I look at my son, and I feel like nothing I do makes a difference. There are days, where meltdowns and over-reactions are just a way of life. I worry about social interaction, self-regulation, medication side effects, and who his new teacher will be in the fall.

I am so focused on how far he has to go, I have forgotten how far he has come. I have forgotten my first grader had a terrible time learning to read and write. Math seemed impossible and he spent most of the day under a desk. My Kindergartener who was so introverted the teacher could not assess what he had learned for the year, and my Pre-K child who had to be carried in the door in a football hold. I now have my rising fifth grader whose only modified subject is Math. He passed all of his classes and many with an A or B. He had emotional problems at the beginning of the year, but he ended the year on a high note. He has come a long way. We have a long way to go, but I feel blessed we can see significant progress.

No, I did not ask for validation, but maybe it was needed. It changed my perspective on my child and maybe I see more good than bad because of it.

7 thoughts on “VALIDATION NOT NEEDED BUT HELPFUL

  1. That child has come SO far! Hope he is told that on a regular basis. He did not choose to be born with ADHD. God knew he would be able to handle it! The kid just needed help from caring strangers to make his mind adjust to the way the world is.

    Kids have to be taught the way that the kid actually learns. Some have to be shown visually how to do things, some can learn from a book, others just need to be given verbal step-by-step instructions. Teachers need to be able to zero in on their pupils learning styles. Not everyone has the gift of teaching.

    Good teachers are a blessing to society!
    Jeanette Hall

    Like

    1. Thank you for your comment, but it was not only teachers, but parents and therapist that have helped my son progress through school. I have truly been blessed as a parent to have a wonderful support system to guide me through the process of helping my children progress in school.

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  2. I eventually had to pull my ADHD son out of public school when he was in the 6th grade and started homeschooling him. Although he is back in public school for his high school years, I now home school his two younger siblings who are 2 and 7. Sometimes we just have to make the necessary adjustments for our kids in order for them to thrive.

    Liked by 1 person

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